Welcome to another episode of Tale of a Virgin Cougar by inCognito Papi. I am really sorry I came really late with this episode, it has really been crazy out here, Just like Davido I was going through some Baby Mama Drama and I don’t even have a baby yet. Moreover, I have been fighting with the people stealing my ‘shit’ just like Dammykrane had izzue with Wizkid for stealing his ‘shit’, I am sure Dammykrane can tell how it feels when people steal your shit and they shine with your shit harder than you.
But I am back now sha, we can now continue. Are you new here? Or you missed some “Tale of a Virgin Cougar” classes (episodes)? You can check below for links to previous episodes
Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4 Episode 5 Episode 6 Episode 7 Episode 8 Episode 9 Episode 10 Episode 11
As I was going to meet Mrs. Williams with a clouded mind, trying to imagine what we would talk about when I see her, I didn’t even know what to think. When you are in some situations, some critical situations, situations like this one that I am in right now, only one thing can work, what do you think can help my situation? Don’t suggest “Prayer”, yeah I know prayer is the master key, but there are some situations where prayers won’t work. What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? Okay, I just preached but really, think about it. What would my prayer point be? Would I pray to God to help me get down safely with Mrs. Williams and Lola? Sometimes ehn I hear some peoples prayer point and I shake my head, you cannot want to sin and then be asking God to help you with it (this is a quick one for some peeps out here; I hope you really get what I am trying to say here).
So what is the one thing that could help my situation? As I was going to meet Mrs. Williams with a clouded mind and thinking was difficult for me, I just decided to consult my music playlist and reason with it, I love doing that a lot. Finding the right song to play at that moment was difficult, I scrolled from A-Z couldn’t find a song to help, I decided to go through my playlist again, finally I got a song by J. Cole “Apparently” that is the title of the song.
You know the song? The song doesn’t really fit the situation but it helped me think about many things, it is funny how deep thoughts can go when you are listening to song; it is funny how wild imaginations can run when you are listening to some songs. You don’t want to know how much I thought about before getting to Mrs. Williams place, abi you people think it is a joking sturv? You know at this point I am standing on the edge of an abyss. Have you tried to think about how this might end? Have you tried to think about how this story might end? Try and think about it now.
Getting to the hotel where Mrs. Williams and I slept, I saw Adeola at the reception again, I asked her if My Aunty was still upstairs, she said yes, “Adeola I need to see you o, I want us to talk about something” What is it we need to talk about? You remember I told you I just started setting Adeola’s P, that is why I wanted to see her again because I have to finish what I started, forget the situation I am in right now, I just have to finish what I have started with Adeola, I wouldn’t start a journey and stop before getting to my destination. Adeola told me she would be leaving work soon, I told her I was only going to see my Aunty for few minutes that she should chill for me so that we could walk together.
I said that to Adeola thinking I would just see Mrs. Williams for few minutes and talk about whatever it is she wants to talk to me about then we would leave but as I entered Mrs. Williams room I knew I was going in there for some real conversation, you know when someone tells you they need to talk to you and when you go to see them you see them seated in that kind of posture that suggests that it is going to be a long and a serious talk.
**knock knock**
She responded immediately she heard the knock. I entered the room then saw that Mrs. Williams was seated on the bed in the manner that implies that we were going to be talking about something serious and that the conversation was going to last for a while.
“How are you doing today Mrs. Williams?” I asked, maybe that is where our discussion will start from. She looked at me, by this time I was already seated on the couch beside the bed and she said she was doing fine.
“I am fine, Thank you” she said and she paused, I knew she still wanted to say some more but as she paused she put her head down like she was admiring her expensive shoes, I knew she was trying to avoid my gaze, I knew she was trying not to look my way. She wouldn’t look up again, she was acting like she had a lot to say but she was too wary to say them, I kept on looking at her, trying to know what was going on in the room, trying to figure out what she might want to talk about. A lot happened in the previous night, she was drunk, she talked about her marital issues, she cried, we kissed, and all that, maybe she is too embarrassed to talk about it all now, but how do I get her to talk?
Maybe it was because I was gazing at her, maybe that was why she couldn’t talk so I decided to look away, maybe she would be able to talk if I am not looking at her, I thought to myself. The room was quiet for a while, I was looking away and I guess she still had her head down so I looked at her direction since she wasn’t saying anything and I saw that she was looking at me, she was looking at me like she was studying me, she was staring at me like dull students stare at a Physics teacher, immediately I caught her staring at me she looked away. I began to feel like tolotolo afterwards, didn’t know where to look, you know that feeling when you know someone is staring at you and you can’t stare back? That kind of situation puts your neck in a mess as you wouldn’t know where to turn your neck to, I was just looking everywhere else in the room, couldn’t look at her side anymore and I couldn’t say something either.
Someone needs to say something, all these shy shy things won’t help, but what can I say? Let me just continue looking at the floor maybe what to say might spring out from the floor, anything is possible yeah? hehe
“So last night, I drank a little too much and I…” She paused again and looked at me; she probably wanted to see if I was looking at her now or to check the look on my face. Then, I was looking at her with interest, antedating where she was going with her dialogue, the look she met on my face must have given her go ahead as she continued talking…
“…and I can’t remember everything that happened last night, but I can remember few things” Oh interesting, she can’t remember everything that happened last night? I hope she remembers the kiss, is it time for me to say something or I should ask if she remembers the kiss. No, let me still keep quiet, she continued talking.
“I am sorry for all that might have happened that wasn’t my intention; I was only hurting too much, I didn’t mean to behave irrational”. I felt like it was time for me to say something, as I was about to say something, I interrupted what she wanted to say too, you know that kind of thing yeah? We both wanted to talk at the same time, I decided to stop and allow her talk, and she decided to stop too and allow me talk, so I said “sorry I interrupted” I said that when she tried to say something too, it was awkward at that point, she said it is fine that I could continue to say what I wanted to say. What did I want to say sef? Continue reading…
“You don’t need to be sorry for all that happened last night Mrs. Williams, I understand that you are hurting too much; I know how it can get. I have experienced such before” I said to her. She looked at me and she was a little bit confused, what do I mean I have experienced such before? But really what do I mean by that? I don’t even know what I meant sef or where the speech was heading, I was just talking. Some of us do that too, sometimes we would have said something before knowing we shouldn’t have.
She decided to ask what I meant by what I have said earlier. “When I was growing up…” I cleared my throat, re-adjusted my sitting position, I am sure she knows it was time for a long story, a true life story of how I grew up.
“When I was growing up things were tough for me and my younger brother because we had domestic problems, My Dad used to come home drunk and misbehave, sometimes he would beat my Mom up, he had all sorts of bad behaviour, he was a womanizer then but I thank God for his life now, he is a changed Man now and a great Dad.” I said that to not make the story all tragedy, because I was getting all sad and shit but I have to finish the story, was I even telling her a true life story or I was just giving her another tale, let me just continue with the story I was telling her.
“I knew how much my Mom was hurting, I knew all the drama she went through, I knew about the battle because we were all she has and I was very close to her when I was growing up, she was my best friend, she is still my best friend.” I looked at her; she was looking at me like I was telling her one very sad story, even me the story-teller sef was doing like someone who remembered one bad past experience.
When she heard my Mom was my best friend and she is still my best friend, she said “Wish I could be closer to my son too, but he had little time with me while he was growing up, I was always away about work, the relationship between us is not very smooth, I am just trying to work my way back to his life now, that is why I come to see him more often in school now and do all he wants for him”.
I didn’t know what to say about what she said, so I was just looking, waiting for her to continue, I was quiet for a moment so she continued talking, “I know you probably think different of me now because of all I am going through, because you have seen me cry or because we shared a kiss last night, yeah I remember we kissed last night, I am not a drunkard neither am I a cougar, it is just what I am going through, my plan was not that we would sleep in the same place but I guess it was bound to happen, I thought about a lot while you were away” what was she thinking while I was away? She kept talking, by this time, she didn’t care if I was looking at her or nah, and she just wanted to spill all on her mind. “I know about our age difference, I know you are probably same age with my son, but I love the way you make me feel when I am with you, the way you look at me, the things you say to me, the way you soothe me makes me want to be around you more, the songs you played for me before I slept off last night, it is just like another world for me when you are here with me, I remembered asking you if you have a girlfriend last night and you told me No, I know what I want from you wouldn’t be hard for you because I don’t want much”
What does she want from me? me I was sha there loving all she was saying, so I was just seated there feeling myself, “I will love to see you more often, I will love to hang out with you more, I will love to be closer to you, I am not asking you to be in a relationship with me, I am not asking you to be my gigolo, I just want you to be available for me, I just want you to be there for me, I just want to be the one I can run to” So this is what she wants from me, what do you think about that?
“You make me feel better, you kiss me better that is why I want more of you, I would be denying myself happiness if I hide these things, I hope you understand that I have not done this before and this is hard for me, but I just want to be happy again, I just want to give myself the chance to live again, I am just feeling this way because of all I am going through, I just want to stop hurting, this might be wrong but it definitely feels good and I am ready to loosen up”. You see what Mr. Williams has caused? Seen how much damage he’s caused? This is one thing some men, some guys, some boys don’t understand, the damage you cause when you hurt a woman that loves you so much is more than what I can write about, to you it might be a little thing but to her it is much obliteration.
“Can I ask you something?” She asked if she could ask me a question, I knew the question was going to be a tough one but I told her she could ask me, can you guess the question?
“How do you feel about me?” like I knew the question would be a tough one but I got to answer it. But what do I say? How do I feel about Mrs. Williams? Let me just tell her nothing but the truth. How do I tell her I feel about her, should I just tell her another story?
“I wouldn’t lie to you and I will tell you how I truly feel about you” You can lie about everything but never lie about how you feel about someone, Don’t play with people’s emotion, don’t be dishonest, you don’t have to lie to get in her heart or in her pant, you don’t have to lie to get in his heart, you don’t have to say you are a virgin before he can love you. A relationship built on lies doesn’t lead anywhere other than the back seat at a Cinema where you press breast or suck on some un-chewable banana, I am just trying to say it wouldn’t lead to you guys saying “I Do” in front of a congregation, in the presence of a priest, even if you are the smart type like me one day you will get caught, LOL. Say the truth today and it shall set you free. Try it today, tell that babe you have been lying to how you truly feel, tell that Nigga you’ve been lying to how you truly feel and see what happens after but I am not responsible for whatever happens after though.
I continued with my answer to Mrs. Williams question, “The first night I saw you, I thought God sent me a helper, I have always been having thoughts of meeting a sugar mummy, I thought God sent me one, I told you that night I sauntered round the school looking for love then I met you, felt like you were the one I was meant to meet that night, I know you are the one I was meant to meet that night because I am glad I met you, yes I understand that you are not a cougar, I understand all you are going through, I told you I knew about all my Mom went through when she was in your shoes, I am just glad I can make you happy and make you feel better and I wouldn’t want that to stop” as I was saying all these words, I would look at her for a fleeting moment then look away or look down.
How far with what I just said? Did I try? Or I could have done better? Mrs. Williams seemed mollified with what I just said. “Thanks for being a sweet young man; can you send those songs you were playing last night to me now? I will love to listen to them as I am going home and anytime I am alone or something” she asked as she gave me her phone.
I was sending the songs to her phone when her phone rang and the name that showed on the screen was “Omolola My Daughter”. “Who is calling me?” she asked when she heard her phone ring. I said “your daughter”. “Oh Omolola, that is my niece” I handed her the phone and she answered the call.
Lola must have told her she would be coming to her house later in the day as Mrs. Williams said “I will be home by then, make sure you come oo, don’t do like last week”. She ended the call and she started gisting me about her Niece “Omolola”, thinking I don’t know her, she told me she is also a UNILAG student, she told me her class and her department and that is she not just a niece, she is also her daughter as they have a very tight bond between them, and I was listening to the stale gist like “ehn hn, are you serious? She is in my school too? She is like your daughter, oh wow” not like I was saying it out o, that was what the look on my face was portraying.
After gisting me about Lola, she asked if the songs were still sending then I checked my phone and saw that they were completed, as I told her it was completed she checked her time “Oh Shit, I should be on my way home now, my Daughter will be coming soon and my Son might come too”
She said as she was putting her phone is her already packed bag and the bag I went to bring for her earlier was beside her. “I’ll call you when I get home, will you be going back to school today?” she asked me.
Yes I will be going back to school that day after we clean up the mess at home, Mrs. Williams stood up, I knew she was ready to leave so I stood up too, I was going to help her carry the other bag I brought earlier that was beside her, so I moved towards her, she probably thought I was coming for something else as she opened her arms for hug. Looking at the ample bosom in chest I was glad she offered to hug me, I wouldn’t dull that kind of moment, so I hugged her too, it was one of those types of tight hugs. Since we were both standing, the feel of her ample bosoms on my dry chest made my snot rocket lift off and it was shooting directly towards her chuff, I am used to grabbing ass when I hug someone that tight but hello! It is Mrs. Williams, can I grab her ass? No, I just moved my hands slightly below her waist, God! Grabbing Mrs. Williams ass would have been bliss, that thought made me a harder guy, I hope you get that.
I don’t know what Mrs. Williams was thinking while we hugged, but she held on tight, the hug stopped and we looked at each other for a while, we were looking at each other from a kissable distance, and you know we just stopped hugging, so are we going to kiss and fall back to bed and maybe do that thing? No.
“Wish I could spend more time with you but I have to go now” she said to me while we were still standing also the koboko under me was still standing, like he was ready to whip. Being hard like that the look on my face was desperately romantic. She was looking at me in my eyes; I kept that look on my face, praying she doesn’t look down so that she wouldn’t notice the fat I cracked in my trousers.
Mrs. Williams gave me all those “I don’t want to go but I have to go now attitudes” and it was cool with me, she has to go back to her house, her matrimonial home and me too I have to go back to my Father’s house and put it back in the condition my Dad left it or else, you already know what will happen to me.
Finally, we stepped out. I carried the bag I helped her bring from the car and her handbag was with her, you know the make of her handbag? Hermes Birkins, she was carrying the original version of Aunty Linda’s bag, but Aunty Linda said hers is also original yeah? Ok, she is carrying like Aunty Linda’s bag and she was carrying the bag like it was nothing, and me I was just there thinking “Please Come O, is this not the bag Aunty Linda wanted to kill herself for on IG that this woman is carrying like it is nothing?” LOL please o I am not taking shots at Aunty Linda Ikeji o.
Yeah, Mrs. Williams is rich, you know. When we got to the reception, I saw that Adeola was not there, I took longer than I expected, she must have gotten tired of waiting, Adeola leaving was not even the problem, the problem was how I was going to walk down my street coming out of the hotel with an older woman, when it is not my mother, even if My Mom and I stepped out of a hotel some people might still think, abi something is going on between this Mother and Son ni.
You know the way Nigerians look at you when you just step out or drive out of a hotel or a guest house, they will look at you like one adulterous fellow and give this “well done o, onishekushe” look. I wouldn’t have been bothered if we were not in my street, but we were in my street and the hotel was very close to my house, you can bet that almost everybody that sees me coming out of that place by that time with that kind of woman I was with will know me and they probably talk to my parents.
If you live in a street filled with Yoruba Women you will understand this better, not only Yoruba woman sha just that the Yoruba women gossip game is A+. So how will I get out of that place without having my gist spread all around the street before my parents come back, My Mom will just come back and be hearing her son’s gist up and down.
Mrs. Williams must have noticed something was wrong with me, she must have noticed the reluctance I was feeling, “why are you looking like that? Is everything alright?” she asked me. Immediately I changed my look, I didn’t know what was going on my mind was affecting my look, by this time we were few close to the gate.
I said to her, frankly “I don’t want some women in this street to see me coming out of a hotel with you, they might be thinking the wrong thing and most of them talk to my parent”. Lying wouldn’t have fixed anything and at that time I couldn’t think of a lie, by the way I don’t want to be lying to Mrs. Williams, lies will only mess things up for us, but is she asks if I know Lola and Elliot, I am gonna lie about that, do you know why? Or you don’t know why? If you don’t know you will still know as the story goes on.
“Oh, I understand, can you drive?” she asked me, she didn’t even wait for me to answer, I guess she assumed I will know how to drive, “why don’t you just go bring my car here, I am going to wait at the reception then I will drive out and drop you along” she said.
That is a better plan, she gave me her car key and then she went back to wait at the reception. Since it was only me, I ruggedly stepped out and the hotel and I was walking fast to get the car, while I was going I saw Mummy Sade towards me. Mummy Sade is my Mom’s friend, her house is like 5 houses from ours she is like of those women that loves correcting/training/chastising other people’s children while their own children’s life will be spoiling. I know a few guys sleeping with Sade and she is not even 18 yet and some guys have even aborted for her, but Mummy Sade wouldn’t know she would be busy looking at other people’s children.
“E karo(good morning) Ma” I greeted her and she answered me, I was already going and she called me back, she asked if my parents her back, I told her no, was about going when she said “wa (come)”. She looked serious now, I knew she wants to start with her behaviour, ofofo(gossip)n is about to begin, she said “is it not the hotel you just got out from, iwo omo yi, kiloun wa kiri(you this child, what are you looking for?)
“aww No ma, My Aunty just got back from Kaduna last night, my Mummy’s younger sister, and she couldn’t stay at home because they my neighbour threw party overnight”. I said to her, she acted like she believe partially, she said “sha becareful” and she kept moving.
I went to get Mrs. Williams car and drove back to the hotel, when I driving back to the hotel, I saw that Mummy Sade was seated outside one shop almost opposite the hotel, she saw me when I wanted to drive in, with the way she was looking at me I knew she was seated at that shop because of gossip.
I drove in and went to call Mrs. Williams, I gave her and keys and we both went into the car. She was driving, as we were leaving the hotel, Mrs. Williams saw that shop and she said she would love to buy recharge card from there, Mummy Jumoke was still sitting outside like gbeborun.
Mrs. Williams parked in front of the shop, and since she had told me what she wanted to buy, I asked if they sell airtime there while seated in this car, Mummy Sade was looking scrupulously at the car and trying to see inside, the other woman inside the car said she has airtime, I turned to Mrs. Williams to ask for how much recharge card she wanted, then she gave me 6k from her Hermes Birkin bag to buy the airtime, so I told the woman to bring four of #1,500 recharge card, when the woman went to bring it, Mummy Sade said “shey Aburo Mummy e to so lekan ye leleyi (is this your Mom’s sister you talked about)?” she was asking looking at me, I knew Mrs. Williams will hear what she said so immediately I looked at Mrs. Williams and I gave her this “oh well I said it” look and what Mrs. Williams did burst my brain.
I answered Mummy Sade, I told her yes, Mrs. Williams got into action and she began to speak Yoruba with the Mummy Sade, she was even the first to greet her, her Yoruba was smooth though, the way she was greeting Mummy Sade and the way she took the handled the whole scene made me like her more, I mean she just covered my ass like Niggas covers each other’s asses.
The woman gave the cards to me, and Mrs. Williams brought out another phone from her bag different from the one I sent songs to earlier, she told me to load the card on the phone and I should also take one, “My husband doesn’t know I have this phone, it is the one I called you with, it is what I will be calling you with” it was then I understood why she told me earlier that the number might not be reachable again.
“I liked what you did back there” I said to her, appreciating her for really acting like my Aunty while we were at that shop, I told her how ugly street gossips could get, “Yeah, I get it, it was fun for me though, I felt like an actress back there, but why did you tell her I came all the way from Kaduna, I’ve never been to that side?” We both laughed about it. It was time for me to get down from her car and walk to my house.
“I will call you when I get home, you take care of yourself” She said to me, I alighted from the car and she drove off and I went back to my house.
We have come to the end of this episode; you see I did not end it with any suspense, LOL. I cannot but hope you enjoy this episode like you have been enjoying the previous episodes and if you don’t enjoy this episode believe me you will enjoy the 13th Episode.
Once again, I am really sorry for coming late with this episode, I hope y’all haven’t lost interest yet? Alright, some people has been coming to me, some wants me to publish this story, some wants me to sell it, while some are stealing the story, that is why I took the break to figure out what to do. I hope you all understand that, Thank You.
So, I will love to know, will y’all like me to publish this story? Depends on the response I get. You can reach me on Twitter/Instagram: @inCognitoPapi.
Episode 13 drops sooner than you expect, till then stay amazing!
Written By inCognito Papi [don’t forget to follow me on Twitter/Instagram: – @inCognitoPapi Bless!!!]
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